Life didn't give up on me...

Life teaches us if we are willing to learn...

For most of my life, I doubted myself. I knew really believed I could or should. I much preferred to stay hidden in the background. I would hide in the background. I remember I was the ‘quiet one’- not because I couldn't speak but because I was afraid to speak. Afraid for people to see and hear me, terrified I would be judged, and it would affirm my worst fears - that I wasn't enough.

I would let others take the limelight. The safety of anonymity protected me from the prospect of failure, judgement, ridicule, and embarrassment. I believed I wasn't the 'enoughs'. I was overwhelmed with disappointment.

I didn't want to take risks, to put myself out there, be seen and heard. Overwhelmed I shut down and settled for a life that ‘just was’. I gave up on myself.

Life had other ideas. It pushed me harder. New situations were thrown at me. I fought it. I cried. I threw tantrums at it. I didn't understand - why did life remain faithful? Why didn't life just stop?

Where I saw my failure, life saw my success. Life saw my strength, my courage, my worth. Life knew that I was all the ‘enoughs’ and even more

Life didn't give up on me. It forced me to invest, believe and back myself. 

Life teaches me every day that I am always going to feel scared, that my insecurities would plunge me into darkness, BUT my choice to fight through, to walk forwards meant I would always succeed.